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I've always wondered about offering a bully who helps himself to your lunch a chunk of chocolate that's actually Ex-Lax. Then I'd grin like an evil villain when I offer him some chocolate after that, because nobody f***s with rudeboy's lunch--NOBODY!!!
You are wise to heed the examples of Bill Watterson and Calvin and Hobbes. That's a strip that literally my whole family loves, as shown by the number of C&H books we have. C&H is childhood without the usual Ivory soap treatment given by the newspapers or by other cartoonists.
Eile: Dead duck has bodily functions?! Gross!!
Y'know, if I could offer a suggestion--given your tight work schedule, perhaps you could start your own web comic? Something that you would update at your convenience, but would give you an outlet to do your own thing. Then after you have a good size body of work, you could pitch it to companies and see what happens. In the least, you could self publish it and sell it at cons. The high quality of your work sells itself, anyway. Just a thought!